It’s been a lazy day at the Ashraya home—perfect morning to dominate at some Rook with KB and her rents, and also a perfect afternoon to tackle some Dietrich Bonhoeffer. I’m only on chapter 2 of The Cost of Discipleship, and it’s kicking my tail. What I’ve been reading today has opened so many doors in my mind full of thoughts and questions; I had to take some time to type it out.
To be honest I almost skipped this chapter because the beginning was quite confusing for me, but then I arrived at this phrase, “Unless he obeys, a man cannot believe.”
Belief has always been a fight for me. I am a thinker. I think a lot. Too much sometimes. I always have questions and doubts, especially about my faith. Sometimes, it is really hard to feel, see, and know who God is in our lives. I don’t think I am alone in this either. In fact, I know I’m not alone in this. Most people I’ve talked to have felt the exact same way. How do we typically respond to this? Well most of the time, I look at God and essentially blame him for my seeming inability to see him and know him. I ask “Where are you? Why aren’t you there? I’m a good Christian. Why don’t I see your power in my life?” It’s like I think God is trying to decide if He likes me or not based on my ability to feel his presence. I am going to make an assumption that most of you at some point have felt the same confusion, doubt, and uncertainty about your own relationship with GOD.
Having said all of that, I’ll let Dietrich have a word: “Are you worried because you find it so hard to believe? No one should be surprised at the difficulty of faith [me: what!?], if there is some part of his life where he is consciously resisting or disobeying the commandment of Jesus.”
Could it possibly be that our “difficulty of faith” lies only in our disobedience to the commandment of Jesus?
Naturally, I try to justify myself in my mind: “But, I am trying hard. I listen in church. I read my Bible and pray. I do good deeds. I’m a good person. Why is my faith still so small and weak?”
Bonhoeffer led me to realize that sometimes I try to hide behind my “spiritual difficulties” to avoid the true problem which is continuing disobedience to the call of Christ. Bonhoeffer answers our justifications with this—because to lead us to the truth, this is all that is left to say: “You are disobedient; you are trying to keep some part of your life under your own control. That is what is preventing you from listening to Christ and believing in his grace. You cannot hear Christ because you are willfully disobedient. Somewhere in your heart you are refusing to listen to his call. Your difficulty…is your sins.” Wow. I had to let that sink in for a moment.
So what is the call of Christ? Can I now justify myself by confusion to what the call exactly is? Not hardly. I think if you simply read through Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John the call should become pretty clear. I think that is why it is important to be devoted to reading the Gospels consistently if we want to look anything like Jesus, and know what this call is that leads us to faith.
One story from Matthew embodies this whole concept quite perfectly. Matthew 19: 16-22. Yep, this is a tough one. I can’t tell you how many lessons I’ve heard on this story and it never fails. The speaker, teacher, preacher, pastor always has the line: “Now does this story REALLY mean we need to go sell all our things and give the money to the poor?” It never fails. The answers vary to a certain extent, but they always pose that question. After reading Bonhoeffer, I think he gets more at the heart of the issue than anyone else I’ve heard speak about this. This man coming to Jesus with an inquiry had no idea the divinity of the man he was speaking to. He thought he was just going to get another opinion from another rabbi. But, this man happened to be talking to Jesus. Jesus Christ. The Son of God.
Do you realize the man asks Jesus THREE times what he should do? He digs further and further for an answer that will satisfy him. “What good thing must I do to get eternal life?” Jesus: “If you want to enter life, obey the commandments.” Man: “WHICH ones?” Jesus: “Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, honor your father and mother and love your neighbor as yourself.” The man’s next question is really similar to my previous justifications: “All these I have kept. What do I still lack?”
Ya know if this guy had ONLY gone to some other rabbi than Jesus, the Son of God, he would have not went away sad. If only. But, he happened to ask Jesus Christ, the Son of God, three times what he should do to get eternal life. So Jesus told him the real truth: “If you want to be perfect, go sell your possessions and give to the poor and you will have treasure in heaven. Then, come follow me.”
The man wasn’t expecting such an ultimatum. He was just asking for a simple opinion from a teacher. But… he asked Jesus.
The answer to the man’s question is ultimately, Jesus. His last words to the man were “Then, come follow me.” First, he wanted the man to let go of control. He wanted him to lean completely on Him. If the man had obeyed Jesus’ call, it would have put him in a position to have real faith for the first time. Communion with Jesus is the answer to the man’s question. Follow Jesus. Trust Jesus. The man’s possessions had hold of his soul, his life, his everything. He gave up communion with Christ…for his stuff.
Bonhoeffer said it like this: “Only the devil has an answer for our moral difficulties, and he says ‘Keep on posing problems, then you will escape the necessity of obedience.’ But Jesus is not interested in the young man’s problems; he is interested in the young man himself.” Jesus simply wanted the man to fore-go his stuff for fellowship with Him.
I feel like for a long time in my life and many people I know, we have been avoiding Jesus. We have been going to other rabbis asking questions about our moral problems, our faith problems. And they continue to give us mediocre answers. But there is only one rabbi who knows the true answer to our problem of faith. If you dare to knowingly walk up to Jesus and ask him, he will give you an answer. And the answer is himself. First, let go of what holds you back from fellowship with Christ. Generously let it go. It could be all the “things” you’ve been collecting for the incalculable amount of years we live on this earth, or it could be something else. But the answer is the same. Christ’s ultimate call is to come and follow him and be put in a position where faith is possible for the first time.
