I guess you’re just what I needed.
You rarely get exactly what you want here in India. Actually I’ll be bold to say you never get what you want. You’re always being forced to settle for something else than what you had in mind. I was thinking about this actually in Sri Lanka after we endured an 8 hour hot, sweaty, and crowded public bus ride to Arugam Bay. I never in my life would have chosen to do that. It was in fact… awful. Another example: The city we are in here in India is absent of black frames. We searched everywhere. We had some photography printed off for the house, and all this town has are gold and brown frames. Come on people… that doesn’t match a black and white photo. The frame situation is a minor example, but maybe that will give you a grasp of what we continually experience here.
After many experiences like this, you begin to realize that the things you wanted are not actually things you needed. I’ve realized that my “wants” are simply my perception of my “needs.” We want things because we think we need them. For the past 2 months, I’ve craved chips and salsa. But I continually do not get chips and salsa. And I’m okay. It isn’t something I need.
Thinking about all of this makes me wonder, do I ever really know what I “need”? Or do I really only have the capacity for knowing what I “want”? Or does possibly God only have the capacity to know what I need? Maybe so. What I truly need continues to surprise me. I again and again realize I don’t really know what I need. I don’t need a super comfy bed. I don’t need cornucopia of food choices. I don’t need A/C. I don’t need a quiet morning’s sleep. I don’t need TV. I don’t need _[fill in the blank]_. I’m learning this every day here. I’m learning more and more that what I truly need comes from God and God alone. If God was the ONLY one who actually knew what I needed, it would put me in a position to trust in Him completely.
Contrast this concept with our lives in America. Consistently our “wants” are being met. I want a turkey sandwich—go to the refrigerator: Turkey. Cheese. Mustard.. Or Subway. I want those new boots. Target. Urban Outfitters. Anthropology. I need the iPhone 17. Upgrade. I think I need to just relax at home tonight, watch a movie, and eat a tub of ice cream. That’ll do me good. Done. Our wants are nearly always met. Yet, wouldn’t you agree that most people continue to remain unsatisfied… searching for more? Maybe that’s where what we truly need comes in, and the only One who truly knows how to meet those needs.
Could I seriously not have access to the knowledge of my own needs? Could God seriously be the only one privileged to that information? Could He intentionally not privy us to that knowledge because I simply do not have the means and ability to meet my real needs? The longer I’m here, the more I’m realizing this is true. What if I did know what my soul needs? Okay, so I need unspeakable joy. Where do I get it? How do I orchestrate this? Who do I bring together? Where do I go? Man. I don’t know. But if unspeakable joy is what my soul needs, God knows how to give it to me perfectly. He knows my needs. He knows how to meet them. Hence… complete trust in Him.
Sometimes, something like unspeakable joy comes strangely after a hot, 8 hour, crowded bus ride. Weird. I would have never planned that one.
